The X-Jetpack H3X Hydro is a back-mounted megahose

What is with this piece of newfangled torture gym equipment?

Wrong on so many counts, except one. Try newfangled watersport of endless fun instead. This is the H3X X-Jetpack, a hydro-powered jetpack.

An actual jetpack?! How does it work?

It attaches to a jet ski to power lift-off via the watercraft’s engine propulsion. A 20m-long hose doubles as a channel for the water propulsion and a leash to keep the jetpack rider from whizzing off into the ether like a rapidly deflating balloon, while a padded harness and modified saddle keeps the rider comfortable, stable and secure in mid-flight.

Any watercraft? I have just the right dinghy.

Sadly for you, the X-Jetpack H3X Hydro will only work with high output jet skis like Sea-Doo musclecrafts and similar makes from Yamaha and Kawasaki.

Does that mean only gym rats need apply?

Not necessarily, so long as you are able to control the two thrust streams with the jetpack’s steering arms. It’s a two-men activity, making it the perfect bonding pastime for you and your best bud. The jet ski rider controls the throttle and and the power of the water, while the jetpack rider controls the angle and direction of flight.