The 2008 Olympic Games are upon us! If you haven't got a seat at the stadium in Beijing your sporting pew is probably in the middle of your front room. With that in mind, you'll need some Olympic gadgets to get the full sit-down, slap-up, sports-watching experience...
R/C Drinks Cooler £40
This fusion of radio-controlled tech and alcohol allows you to acquire a pile of beer without ever leaving the sofa (requires a willing helper at the fridge end to refill whenever the R/C Cooler becomes empty).
Toshiba 40ZF355D £1300
Most TVs struggle to show a speeding shuttle-cock without ghosting and judder. Not this 1080p LCD. 100Hz processing refreshes the picture twice as often, for smoother movement.
Marantz ES7001 £900
Weedy TV speakers can’t replicate the emotional rollercoaster of being in the crowd. This one-box solution creates a big, convincing stadium experience – without the smell of burgers and stale beer.
Revo Blik Radio Station £150
To become an Olympics geek you’ll need to follow all the media coverage, including DAB and internet radio. The Blik gives you access to both, making it your portal to everything from Five Live to Taekwondo 24/7.
Humax FOXSAT-HD £150
You don’t need Sky to see the Olympics in hi-def. Freesat will show 300 hrs of coverage from Beijing on BBC HD, and you can tune in with this box. The 200 channels due by the year’s end will include Wedding TV, though.
Tiscali+ £50 ?+ subscription
There will be times when, alas, you will have to leave your den and face non-sporting activities. This PVR can store around 50 hours ?of water polo and has three tuners for recording multiple channels.
Philips HR1865 Juicer £100
Your sedentary existence could turn you into a crumb-encrusted fattie, so you’ll need this juicer to stay healthy. Throw your choice of fruit and veg into its ‘feeding tube’ for up to 1.5 litres of delicious smoothie.
Swiss Propeller Fan £95
Merely watching someone run a steeple-chase can trigger the sweats. This fan, which handily doubles as a film noir prop, will cool you down and runs whisper-quiet even when on the highest jet engine setting.
Nintendo Wii £180
Stave off boredom and get some exercise in the interludes with a Wii. If only real motor racing was as violent as Mario Kart Wii, or the actual Olympics was as surreal as Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games...
Alessi Pop-Up £25
The Olympic festivities could quickly carpet your lounge in a layer of old bottle tops. Avoid this foot-bothering hazard by using this stainless steel bottle opener, which hoovers tops with one press and holds onto them using its magnet.