GI JOE: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
Remember when you were a kid, bashing your Action Force toys into each other and imagining a blockbuster movie playing out in your head? This is that movie. Ninjas clash, explosions explode and Paris is wrecked in a chase sequence that could've been lifted straight from Team America: World Police. Meanwhile, indie film darling Joseph Gordon Levitt tries to act from behind a Darth Vader face mask and Christopher Eccleston affects the worst Scottish accent since Christopher Lambert. Marvellous.