"Dad! We're out of loo roll!"
"Well get some more from the cupboard."
"But there's none in there either! You're such a rubbish parent. I HATE YOU!"
And that's a conversation you'll no longer have to endure from today because Amazon's super-simple one-click Dash ordering buttons are now available in the UK.
The service was launched in the US last year and lets Amazon Prime members order specific products with one press of a physical button. For instance, you might have an Andrex button in the loo, an Ariel button on your washing machine and a Durex button inside your lucky pants.
The UK launch involves 40 Dash buttons, which include the three examples above plus such household essentials as Kleenex, Whiskas and, um, Play-Doh. We've handily listed all 40 for you at the bottom of this story, in case you're the kind of person who likes reading lists of products. And frankly, who isn't?
What's more, the buttons themselves are basically free: they technically cost £4.99 but you get £4.99 off the cost of the first order. Head over to the Amazon Dash page if you want to give them a try.
So how do they work? Well, you simply give the Amazon Shopping app your preference - 10 tins of Whiskas every time I press the button please Amazon - then connect the Dash button to your home Wi-Fi network. Run out of cat food the next day? Just click the button and it'll be whisked out to you pronto.
Worried that your kids will just sit tapping the Play-Doh button until 874 tubs arrive the next day? No need: there's a built-in failsafe in that Amazon will only process the first click; when your delivery arrives it'll then reset and you'll be free to order again.
It's all part of Amazon's quest to ensure you give it 95% of your income each month (it would be 100% but after the Fire Phone debacle we imagine they'll leave smartphone provision to others). But it doesn't end there.
As well as launching the physical Dash buttons, the company's rolling out its Dash Replenishment service in the UK. This is designed to let smart home gadgets do the ordering without you being involved at all. So, for instance, your printer could automatically order new ink cartridges when it senses that it's running out of cyan, or your robo vac could do the same with new bags.
The scheme's success depends on the interest from internet-of-things-makers, but with the likes of Samsung and Bosch already involved, it seems likely that you'll be able to outsource your shopping entirely before too long. Although when we reach the stage where robo vacs can order new versions of themselves at will then we're clearly halfway to the grey goo scenario.
Which Amazon Dash buttons are available in the UK?
The Amazon Dash buttons available in the UK from today are:
- Air Wick
- Fairy Non Bio
- Johnson’s Baby
- NESCAFÉ Dolce Gusto
- Optimum Nutrition
- Philips Sonicare
- Right Guard
- The Breath Co.