The UK Steampunk Festival has just kicked off in Lincoln, so in honour of all that's turned brass and riveted, we've picked the most Jules Verne-esque of today's gadgetry…
RetroWerk R001 £900
Unlike most steampunk-inspired watches, this one isn't a limited edition of three that costs more than a whole street in Berkshire. Still rather cool, though. For half the price, there's also a quartz version, the R003.
Everything But the Box Sputnik 12SCM €2000
Subwoofer or the eyeball of a steam-powered Victorian robot? Sadly, the former. If the ceiling-mounted chains scare you, there is a floor-sitting version.
Gaggia Achille £650
Steampunk with actual steam. Okay, it's a shame the pipes aren't copper, but you can't have everything. And you do get a cup of coffee along with your healthy slice of cool.
Fatman iTube 452 £1750
Not only a sublime amplifier with the mesmerising glow of a valve array; there's an iPod dock thrown in. Just add some suitably jaw-dropping speakers.
Armadillo Breadbin £65
In an alternative universe, we'd be using this as a platemail armour suit for a wild boar that we'd hunt using laser-tipped spears. To the relief of the RSPCA, it's just a breadbin.
Grado Labs PS1000 £1800
"Broadsword calling Danny Boy, Broadsword calling Danny Boy, over." Want to pretend to be a historic radio operator while enjoying the finest hi-fi audio ever offered from a pair of headphones? Problem solved.
Invotis Wall Gear Clock £120
A brilliant piece of skeletal design, with cogs rotating around hands to indicate the time and date. But frankly we'd stick this beauty on the wall even if it could only tell us how long it'll be till Tesco takes over the world and makes us buy all our clothes from aisle 16.
Sailor 1911 Classic Demonstrator £185
This fountain pen has a clear cap and barrel so you can see the workings – which happily serves to give it some test-tube chic. Get some purple ink bubbling away in glass flasks as you scribble notes about the unrecognition of true genius, how it can't be morally wrong once rigor mortis has set in, etc.
Avantgarde Trio Classico from $64,400
There's plenty of madness in the world of hi-fi speakers, but these are among the most amazing and stupidly expensive we've ever come across. We can, however, testify to the incredible quality of their sound.
Vintage Watch Movement Cufflinks £895
Give your best shirt a touch of cog-driven kitsch with these cufflinks fashioned from vintage (non-working) watch movements. The gold is awfully steampunk, but they're also available in sterling silver for almost a tenth of the price.