No place for a goat
All these interactions seemed unrealistic for a goat simulation, but the environment doesn’t help. The neighbourhood is illogically zoned with a nearby hill housing a massive waterslide (that my goat used standing up), an industrial building under construction (with a tall crane that I fell off though I wasn’t killed instantly), and even a Low Gravity Testing Facility (does such a facility even exist?).
Through further exploration, I discovered a secret chamber where I was crowned queen of the goats in a fiery and Satanically-tinged ceremony leading me to further hypothesize perhaps my goat was some sort of demonic farm animal as that would explain my strength and mischievous disposition to cause random mayhem in an otherwise quiet neighbourhood.
More after the break...
Perhaps Goat Simulator should be renamed Demonic Mischievous Goat Simulator in a Neighbourhood Designed to Cause the Most Explosions, as this better describes the game. It was a romp and stomp, goat run amok, mayhem fuelled adventure where most things are in fact explosive, and not a very realistic simulation of goat life at all.
So if Grand Theft Auto—goat style—is your thing then Goat Simulator is your game, but if you’re looking to live the rollercoaster life of a mountainous goat, look elsewhere.
Goat aficionados, like myself, will just have to wait for a real Goat Simulator.