Fix up look sharp
Is that a trophy for paracetamol of the year?
What? No, obviously. Granted, it vaguely resembles a fancy gold-gilded easy-swallow capsule, but still, it's clearly a speaker - Ministry of Sound's new Audio S Plus, if you want to get technical. And MoS definitely wouldn't want to be associated with pharmaceuticals, so just get that thought right out of your head.
Ooooh, so it shoots lasers?
Sadly not, though if you ever find yourself around Elephant and Castle at 1am on a Friday night, we suggest you drop in for a visual treat.
The Audio S Plus joins the million-strong list of portable speakers out there, whose numbers have exploded over the past few years, but its vertical design (which can also be horizontal if you prefer) definitely makes it pop out from the crowd. You can replace the stand with a strap or cover when you're on the move.
Hit me with some specs.
The S Plus was voiced by Phil Faversham, the very same sound engineer who created the London club's award-winning sound system, and it's got the volume to back it up.
Bluetooth (10 metre range), NFC for easy pairing and a 15 hour battery life all make for easy pairing and uninterrupted listening, and you can link two units up for full stereo sound, if you like. Just like a tiny old-fashioned Hi-Fi... minus the spinning platters, reels of tape and all the wires.
Nothing that other speakers don't offer...
Do other speakers have an accompanying app which lets you listen to what's happening at the club live, every Friday and Saturday night? No.
Clearly this is aimed at the Ministry faithful, and that aim is further bolstered by the two free tickets included with each speaker. It'll set you back £120 (approx. US$185) if you're interested, and we recommend snapping those two free tickets up in time for Dash Berlin's appearance at the club on 28 August.
We'll be in the front row twirling around some glow sticks and losing our hearing next to the immense floor-to-ceiling speakers. See you then.