It’s Christmas, which means the scheduled TV line-ups are, to put it mildly, a bit of a shocker.
Can’t face Christmas Day sitting down in front of yet another cringeworthy, outdated Bond film, carnage-filled, feature-length soap opera episode or smug-fest celebrity talk show? We’ve got the solution, and we’ve put it all in a list for you to look at now, with your eyes. And not a Bublé, Nigella or Her Majesty in sight.
Merry Christmas, telly addicts!
You've been rudely awakened by the kids leaping up and down on your bed. Blearily, you haul yourself downstairs to oversee the unwrapping of presents, and maybe fix some breakfast.
They're still jumping up and down. You need a distraction. Here it is:
The Muppet Christmas Carol
There's really just one family-friendly way to kick-off the festive telly binge, and that's with the Muppets. Thanks to the joy of streaming, you can do just that.
The Muppet Christmas Carol is the perfect storm of festive enjoyment: a traditional Dickens story with traditional Christmas values, but starring furry, floppy headed puppets. And let's not forget Michael Caine playing it completely straight as Ebeneezer Scrooge: quality acting or utter ambivalence? It's Christmas so let's give him the benefit of the doubt.
Either way, by the end of the film the nippers will have been taught a thing or two about what Christmas is really about and you'll all feel warm and fuzzy inside. Sure, the Buck's Fizz will have played it's part in that but let's give the Muppets at least some of the credit.
The Christmas Visitor
This charming little Christmas cartoon from the 1950s kicks off with a rendition of The Night Before Christmas, before spinning off into an adventure featuring living toys – including an entertainingly villainous Snidely Whiplash-type Jack in the Box.
The retro stylings will conjure up visions of Don Draper, so how about mixing up a Rob Roy (it's Christmas after all) before settling into the rest of the Christmas schedule.
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
Paying tribute to the Hammer Horror movies of old, Wallace & Gromit's first full-length film finds them tackling a giant rabbit with designs on Tottington Hall's vegetables. But things are not quite what they seem…
Aardman Animations' plasticine heroes retain their quirky charm on the big screen, untainted by Hollywood interference. They're joined by a big-name cast including Ralph Fiennes and Helena Bonham Carter – who throw themselves wholeheartedly into the silliness.