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6 of the worst, most useless kitchen robots ever invented

Pancake Day 2016: Disaster Chef Edition

If you tend to celebrate Pancake Day by, you know, making pancakes, you’ve probably already considered the possibility of a robot slave flipping some delicious gooey discs of goodness for you.

After all, you’ve already got an electric carving knife, smoothie maker and waffle iron gathering dust in the dark corner of a kitchen cupboard, so why not throw in a robot chef along with them?

Coming home from a long hard day, only to be greeted by a lavish feast prepared by untiring arms and precision machinery is a futurologist’s ultimate dream. Except if this lot below are anything to go by, we’ve got quite a long way to go yet…

1) Flippin’ terrible

Perhaps we shouldn’t judge ol’ Flippy here too harshly. He might have tennis elbow, or maybe his creator forgot to fit him with any sense of depth perception (or sight). But either way, we’ll stick to flipping our own pancakes for now – floor dust seasoning is something we could do without, if we’re being honest.

2) Spray cheese 3D printer

First things first, this is not cheese. Not really. It’s a lie in a can, and an absolute insult to the entire culinary world. Having said that, it’s impossible not to feel an overwhelming sense of hilarious pity for this poor machine, which does its bet to fight against the printer-unfriendly physical properties of ‘Easy Cheese’.

Disclaimer: The above video may contain a naughty word or two, uttered by the creator as he watches his hard work turn into a horrific, smeary mess.

3) A perfect pour

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4Lb_3_NMjE

Why go to all the effort of lifting a can of beer and pouring it into a glass when this little fellow will happily do it for you? He’ll even go to the trouble of leaving you with a gigantic frothy head, before chopping off its own arm, and dropping the can and its remaining contents all over the floor in the process. In fairness, this isn’t actually the worst bartender we’ve ever encoutered.

4) Hotdog (un)slicer

Taping a sharp knife to a lightweight plastic contraption with all the coordination and grace of a rhino on quaaludes is not the best way to slice up anything, but it certainly is the most hilarious (and dangerous). We might have a possible champion for the new season of Robot Wars.

5) Milk-powered cereal head crane

Not only is this an amazing name for a band, but it’s also the hardest we’ve seen anyone ever work for a mouthful of cereal. Sure, we could debate about whether or not this is strictly a robot, given the level of human interaction required, and you’d probably be correct in classifying it as a machine. But look at us straight in the eyes, and tell us you’re not impressed by the Milk Injection Hydraulic Fluid System.

6) An established classic

Chances are you’ve probably seen this one a fair few times along your interweb travels, but if you haven’t, now’s the time bow before the majesty of the Heinz Autobot. Marvel at its pinpoint precision, fluid, dance-like movement, and strong arms that apparently serve no purpose whatsoever. This, is our future.

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About

Esat has been a gadget fan ever since his tiny four-year-old brain was captivated by a sound-activated dancing sunflower. From there it was a natural progression to a Sega Mega Drive, a brief obsession with hedgehogs, and a love for all things tech. After 7 years as a writer and deputy editor for Stuff, Esat ventured out into the corporate world, spending three years as Editor of Microsoft's European News Centre. Now a freelance writer, his appetite for shiny gadgets has no bounds. Oh, and like all good human beings, he's very fond of cats.

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