“Text messages are like saucy little letters”. Comedian Josie Long on her tech loves and hates

Josie Long will be performing her standup show All of the Planet's Wonders (shown in detail) at the Pleasance Theatre during the Edinburgh Fringe from

Josie Long will be performing her standup show All of the Planet's Wonders (shown in detail) at the Pleasance Theatre during the Edinburgh Fringe from 30 July to 25 August this year.

The problem with the Internet is mad people think they can do whatever they want

…and Wikipedia isn’t as definitive as anyone thinks. People judge two minutes of your show and say you’re shit when they might enjoy the live show. An old woman will put photos of her dead husband on there and Internet commenters will say “Your dead husband is a dick”.

Journalists can write anything they want!

I always wanted an A La Carte Kitchen and a Sindy Kitchen but I never got one

I think it was because I was an obese child and they were trying to steer me away from food-related interests. I got a Sindy shower, which is gross like they were saying ‘You can’t have that because you're fat but you should have this because you’re dirty.’

I was really into Nintendo

?I had a NES and then a SNES. My favourite game was Kickle Cubicle – you had to kick cubes of ice over a map to solve puzzles. I’ve only ever met one other person who had it. My sister was SEGA. I had to hate everything my sister liked.

I take my laptop and Creative Zen with me when I tour

Sometimes I think I’m the coolest human in the world for not having an iPod but for a lot of the time it’s just terribly tedious. It’s 30GB which is all right but when I put it on random it always plays the same thing. I like Pavement, but not all the time.

What upsets me most is things being put on my computer that I don’t want

Learning about my computer is not a quick process for me. I have Skype on my computer but every time I turn it on it pops up and I can’t stop it. I use it when I’m touring but it’s a pain because it cuts out all the time.

My favourite podcast is This American Life

It’s a public radio show from America presented by this guy called Ira Glass. It’s short documentaries and stories that have happened in people’s lives.

I worry that my mobile will give me head cancer?

I don’t want that, I want a long and happy life. I have moles near my ear and think “Oh no, this isn’t good for the mole.” But text messages are like sweet, saucy little letters.

My boyfriend bought me a Nintendo DS for Christmas

Which is a bit embarrassing because I just bought him some books. Before that I just played Boggle online but now I’m addicted to Mario Kart . You can insult someone on the train and no one knows why. I love to do surreal trash talk.

I got bought Animal Crossing and my favourite part of it was getting the little animals to say inappropriate things. On the notice board I just kept putting messages up like “I’ve just moved here and I like to bang”. I love the idea of a little rabbit walking up and reading that.

I started on MySpace because I wanted to meet people when I’d just broken up with someone

It was a way of sending flirty messages about bands I like to people I didn’t need to meet.

But I’ve made myself very invisible on Facebook

?I kept getting friend invites from people I didn’t know but felt guilty not adding them. Now I’m in a situation where it’s like a siege. I don’t know at least 200 of my Facebook friends but I feel like they’re part of the team now.

Girls who didn’t like me at school are like: “Why did we lose touch?’” We lost touch because you were a dick.

And people who keep sending me things like ‘Which Knight Of King Arthur Are You?’ are losers. Or ‘How sexy are you? I’m sure this won’t tell me accurately.

 

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